


Know Thyself

by zilia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Comic Book Science, Humour, Interdimensional Travel, Kissing, M/M, Selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 10:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12933507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zilia/pseuds/zilia
Summary: Clint Barton has an unexpected visitor.





	Know Thyself

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Claudia_flies for the beta!
> 
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo, for the "Clint Barton self-cest" square.

Clint is just working on the second hour of a truly excellent nap on the obscenely comfortable couch in his apartment in Avengers Tower when there’s a clattering sound and a muffled cry of “aww, Stark,” from an oddly familiar voice.

He stirs and gets up slowly, regretting that his bow and arrows are nowhere within reach and that the most aggressive thing he can currently lay his hands on is a pillow. Still, better than nothing. Lucky, the traitor, hasn’t even made a sound. He lifts the pillow up in front of his chest and creeps along the back of the couch to see who the intruder is.

Lying on the floor, amidst a pile of empty dog food cans, is him.

This is unexpected, to say the least.

“Um,” he starts, not really knowing how to begin.

The him on the floor looks up and says “oh, hi! I wondered whether this might happen,” looking remarkably unconcerned.

“Whether what might happen?”

“Whether I might end up meeting myself. Stark warned me there could be consequences.”

He’s beginning to see why the others sometimes find his lack of specificity to be a little frustrating. “Consequences to _what_?”

“Some crazy experiment. He did explain it, but I wasn’t really listening.”

Clint takes a moment to be annoyed with himself and vows to listen next time Stark is babbling techno-nonsense at him.

“Has this happened before?”

The other him wrinkles his brow. “Not that I know of. Of course, we don’t always get to hang on to our memories, so who knows?!”

This is starting to give him a headache, so Clint decides to stop interrogating the other him, who doesn’t seem to be able to give him much information anyway, and instead to just accept for the moment that there’s another version of himself in his kitchen and move on.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, belatedly remembering his manners.

The other Clint grins. “ _Yes._ Got any coffee?”

“You _do_ know who you’re talking to, right?” He gets up and flicks on the coffee machine, while the other guy looks around his apartment.

“Nice place you’ve got here!” he says appreciatively. “And what a great dog!”

Lucky has finally ambled into the room, wagging his tail, looking with interest between the two Clints.

“Oh, you don’t have a Lucky?” Clint asks.

“Nah, I can’t. I’d love to, but my wife’s allergic.”

Clint processes this.

“I’m – we’re – you’re _married_? Who to?!”

“Laura, of course,” the other guy says, as though it should be obvious.

Clint has only ever known one person with that name. “You mean _Barney’s girlfriend Laura?_ ”

Other Clint scrunches his nose. “ _Really?_ Well, not in my universe. Guess he must have gotten there first here.” He takes another look around the apartment, with its conspicuous lack of feminine influence, and says “how about you?”, as though he already knows the answer, but is mostly asking to be polite.

“Nope,” Clint says. “But it’s not, like, sad or anything! I’m cool being single for a bit. Just me and Lucky and the team.”

“Sure,” the other guy says, nodding. “I know how it is. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and my kids and my farm, wouldn’t swap ‘em for the world, but sometimes I can’t help feeling it’s a bit out of character for me and wondering how it happened.” 

 _Kids? Farm?_ Clint bites his tongue, because he can’t imagine what that would be like, but on the plus side, he reckons he’d know if he was lying, and the other him seems genuinely happy with his choices.

“I wonder what else is different in this universe?” he muses. “You’re still an Avenger, right?”

“Well, yeah, unofficially. I’m meant to be retired, but I still do a bit now and then when they need me.”

“And Nat’s ok where you are?”

“Yeah, she’s good! She and Bruce still haven’t quite got it together yet, but it’s only a matter of time, right?”

“What? Nat and _Bruce?_ ”

The other guy laughs. “Man, there’s a _lot_ of different stuff in this universe. Next you’ll be telling me that Steve isn’t terminally depressed and single and that Tony’s not permanently stuck in some kind of manpain spiral.”

Clint blinks. “Um, yeah! Steve got married last month, and since Tony and Pepper had the twins it’s like he’s a new man.”

Now it’s the other him’s turn to be surprised. “You’re kidding, right?”

Clint is enjoying being the one with all the information. “Nope. All true.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” the other him demands, and it’s so like something he would say that Clint grins to himself, before he remembers that of course this is something he would say, because it’s _literally him._

“Sure!” he says, rummaging in his pocket for his phone. He thumbs through to the photo gallery and selects the pictures from Steve and Bucky’s wedding.

“Huh,” Other Clint says, as he scrolls through the photos. Initially, he looks surprised, but as he continues looking his face breaks into a smile, his affection for Steve shining through. Clint feels an answering affection in his own chest at the memory of the day. “He looks happy, that’s weird. But good! And Bucky, huh? Always suspected, but didn’t like to ask.”

Clint nods. “Yeah, once we realised he was here it was pretty obvious. Steve tried to hide him for a few weeks, but Tony found him when he walked in on them making out in Steve’s living room.”

The other Clint whistles. “Bet he _loved_ that.”

Clint winces. “It was a bit tense. Especially with Pepper being pregnant at the time. But he came round eventually. We wouldn’t be without Bucky now, he’s great with the kids.”

“So Tony? Did you say _twins?_ ”

“Yes!” Clint flicks to the messaging app, where Tony posts a constant stream of pictures of the twins, who, along with Pepper, are the loves of his life. “Another thing we didn’t see coming. But he’s a great dad, despite, you know, his background. It’s really chilled him out. Which is a good thing. Keeps him out of the lab. Um, not that I’m not glad _your_ Tony was in the lab, so that I could meet you and everything.”

The other guy grins. “Me too! It’s so awesome!”

It _is_ awesome. Not just the idea that there are multiple universes out there, but also that he seems to be doing ok in at least one of them. They grin dopily at each other for a moment, and then the other Clint clears his throat and says, “Look, seeing how this is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I think we should probably just cut to the chase and make out.”

Clint blinks, not sure he’s heard correctly. “But you’re married!”

He’s not sure why that’s what he chooses to fixate on, really, rather than the vexed question of whether it’s morally wrong to make out with yourself.

The other guy laughs. “It’s ok, Laura won’t mind. We’ve had an agreement about this for ages.”

“You have an agreement with your wife that if you ever meet an alternate version of yourself you’re allowed to make out with him?”

“Well, yeah. We’re Avengers. Who knows what could happen?! Best to get these things negotiated in case they come up.”

He’s surprised by how reasonable the other him is being about all of this. It’s tempting; how often does an offer like this come up? It’s like something out of one of his better sex dreams.

“You know that if you tell Stark about this he’s going to find some way to send himself over here,” he says, stalling for time. “I don’t know whether he and Pepper have the same agreement that you and Laura do.”

“Well, that’s between him and her, isn’t it?” the other him says. “Now, quit stalling” – and Clint curses himself for knowing himself so well – “and make out with me. Or, you know, don’t. That’s ok too, no hard feelings.”

Then they both snigger, because of course now is exactly the time to be childish and laugh at lame dick jokes.

“No, no. I want to,” he says, once he’s recovered, and he finds to his surprise that he really does. He’s never done anything with a guy before, but he’s fantasised about it plenty; difficult not to, when you hang out with guys as hot as the Avengers every day. Though does it really count if it’s yourself?

“Stop thinking,” says the other him – a sentence he’s rarely heard – and steps over Lucky towards him, stumbling a little so that Clint has to reach out and stop him from faceplanting. They’re exactly the same height, and they tilt their heads in exactly the same way, so it’s no surprise that they fit together perfectly. The first time it’s brief, shy, almost self-conscious. _Literally_ _self-conscious_ , Clint thinks, and then he starts to giggle.

“Hey,” he says, breaking away, “do you think this is incest…”

“...or masturbation?” the other finishes. “Honestly? No idea. Does it matter?”

“Not really,” Clint says, and kisses him again. This time it’s better and he gets more into it; it’s been a while since he’s made out with anyone, and kissing someone who knows exactly what he likes is a particular rush.

“Damn, we’re good at this,” the other him says, almost smugly, as they come up for air.

“Mmmhmm,” he agrees, before diving back in, because let’s face it, not only has it been a while since he had any action, but he has no idea how long it’ll be before he gets to do this again. It feels so good; he’s not been lonely, he really wasn’t kidding when he said he was happy earlier, but having a connection with someone is nice, even if that someone is himself. He grips him a little tighter, and is just debating whether he wants to risk any below-waist activity or whether that would be really pushing his luck – he’s unsure about it, which means the other him probably would be as well – when he starts to feel the body pressed up against his becoming a little...insubstantial.

“Oh,” the other him says, and his voice sounds a bit faint too. “I think I’m returning to my universe.”

“Really? Right now? I mean...you don’t want to…?”

“I would, but I don’t think I’ve got a choice.” He sounds genuinely regretful, which is heartening, because he’d have to feel a bit depressed if his own self didn’t want to spend time with him. But the other him is right; he’s fading before his eyes.

“Nice meeting you!” he says, as he disappears into thin air, leaving Clint standing in his kitchen wondering whether he just dreamed the last few minutes.

From the floor, Lucky gives a sleepy sigh and rolls onto his back.

\---

Clint spends the next few days in a haze of confusion as to whether the events that he remembers taking place in his apartment really happened, until definitive proof arrives a week later in the shape of another Tony Stark appearing in the Tower in the middle of an Avengers movie night, babbling about “alternate universes” and “infinite possibilities” and “Barton fucking with him,” and fainting dead away when he catches sight of himself, Pepper, and the twins.


End file.
